I know this is a tired old line, but I ran across these and thought that they were funny. Hope they bring a smile to your face this weekend. With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy:
You Might Be A Preacher If
...you talk in other people's sleep.
...you've ever stood by a grave as two drunken veterans try to fold an American flag.
...you have seen an ugly bride.
...you say, "It's Sunday, but Monday's coming!"
...you've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.
...you're often asked what it's like to only work one day a week.
...you get your second wind when you say, "...and in conclusion".
...you actually know how many committee members it takes to change a light bulb.
...you thank God every day for Caller ID.
...you've secretly wanted a Gatorade bath after a particularly good sermon.
...people think you were born again last night.
...you've had roast for Sunday dinner.
...you've been roasted for Sunday dinner.
...you think everyone loves preaching.
...you suffer weekly from P.M.S. (Pre-Sermon Syndrome)
...you've ever checked your fly as you stood for the opening hymn.
...you've ever fantasized about "re-baptizing" a certain deacon.
...you can pronounce names like Jeshishai, Mephibosheth, and Quirinius.
...despite all the struggles, you couldn't imagine yourself doing anything else.
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