Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Church and Football!

I am preparing for a short vacation; I will resume posting early next week. Thanks for checking in with True Beggars! Here are a few laughs in the meantime. Let's see what these gridiron terms mean when applied to church:

*Quarterback Sneak: Church members quietly leave during the invitation.

*Draw Play: What many children, and some adults, do with their bulletins during the service.

*Benchwarmer: Those who don't sing, pray, give, work, or apparently do anything.

*Staying-in-the-Pocket: What happens to a lot of the money that should be given to God's work.

*Two-minute Warning: The point when you realize the sermon is almost over and you begin to gather up your belongings.

*Sudden Death: What happens to the congregation's attention span if the preacher goes long.

*Trap: What happens when you are called on to pray and your mind is a million miles away.

*End Run: Getting out of church fast by skirting around the preacher at the front door.

*Flex Defense: The ability to let absolutely nothing during the sermon affect your life.

*Halfback Option: The decision of fifty percent of the congregation not to return for Sunday night's service.

*Blitz: The mad rush for the restaurants following the benediction.

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